Call Me Hobbet

15,395 notes

mom:
you realize normal people don't have such strong feelings about the oxford comma
me:
THE OXFORD COMMA IS IMPORTANT
mom:
you realize this makes you a nerd
me:
mom:
me:
i had a party with the strippers, george bush and barack obama
me:
i had a party with the strippers, george bush, and barack obama
me:
without the comma, you are implying that george bush and barack obama are strippers
mom:
me:
mom:
this isn't normal

115,694 notes

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
998,373 Plays
Jesse Mccartney
Beautiful Soul

LADIES, JUST PRESS PLAY. YOU KNOW YOU KNOW EVERY WORD, EVERY SYLLABLE TO THIS SONG.

Actually, I have no idea what this is, but it’s annoying.

(Source: meow-ielle, via indiesurfskate)

3 notes

Me:
Hey I haven't met you
Me:
And this is crazy
Me:
But we're gonna be roommates
Me:
So...email me maybe
I hate when they don't email. Super awkward. Also, I must know everything about your roommate.

2 notes

Alex:
Guess what job I get tonight?
Me:
Mopping?
Alex:
Nope. Putting the condom on the wireless mic.
Me:
Wait, what?
Alex:
I typed that right...

Filed under theatre it's weird